Gay male time

- Chris MacLeod, MSW

Most of the time when someone feels awkward in a social interaction their sexual orientation isn't that relevant. Most situations are ones everyone has the potential to find difficult. However, there are some social struggles that are unique to people who are male lover Or to put it more accurately, there are some social struggles that are unique to same-sex attracted men and lesbians because we live in a society that doesn't fully accept different sexual orientations, and that causes interpersonal complications.

Before I begin I'll note a limited things to put the article in context:

• I'm vertical myself, though I've always been % in back of LGBT rights. So unlike a lot of the articles on this site that draw from my personal experiences, this one is based on research I've done.
• I'm writing this from the perspective of being gay in developed Western countries. Here LGBT rights still acquire a long way to go, but things are better than they've ever been, and living as out is the norm. In most of the world people have
  

  Relationship Tips for Queer Men

   

  In , I attempted my first 5-day backpacking trip. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Sir Edmund Hillary, the first mountaineer to summit Mt. Everest without supplemental oxygen, once said, “It is not the mountains we conquer but ourselves.” I recall feeling something very similar after my much less significant achievement. I learned that climbing a mountain was much more than a physical feat. The real challenge was cultivating a positive mindset and facing the mental question. I felt as if I was conquering myself with every step forward. I knew that if I allowed the self-doubt and inner critic to take over, the next step might head me down the mountain instead of up it. The reward of such work was the camaraderie with my fellow trekkers and the truth that challenging tasks are possible with perseverance.

  Reflecting on this experience reminds me of what it’s like to tackle the adventure of dating. The prospect of nurturing a romantic relationship can seem quite daunting, but the reward of perseverance and hard work is

  AsI think back on the past 24 years of providing couples counseling for gay male relationships, I sometimes get asked what the differences are that I see (in general) in male lover male relationships that are (again, in general), different from direct relationships.

  I offer these thoughts to both single and coupled gay men, based on my perspective of what I’ve seen through the years. My experiences and observations as a same-sex attracted men’s specialist psychotherapist might differ from other gay men, and even other gay male therapists, and we always have to be mindful of not indulging in unfair assumptions, stereotypes, or even prejudices. But since making a relationship work (which I define, in part, as the relationship’s level of satisfaction for each partner and in its overall longevity and subjective “quality” for each partner) is at least in part based on a skills-building process, skills that I believe are required for a gay male relationship to both endure (quantity) and thrive (quality). These are the issues that come up repeatedly in couples counseling sessions:

  1. Money– Gay m

  8 Dating Tips for Lgbtq+ Men from a Male lover Psychotherapist

  Originally published on

  Looking for a long word relationship?

  Here are some tips based on my eighteen years as a psychotherapist working exclusively with queer men, and as Founder of the Gay Therapy Center. These suggestions are also informed by clinical research on relationships as well as my personal research as a recent dater.

  Men Are Avoidant

  Generally speaking, women are socialized to connect. Men, not so much. That’s why they are so lonely.

  So you’ll increase your chances of success if you obtain a chance on opening up, being real, and a just little more vulnerable than your average gay male dater. That doesn’t mean spilling your guts on the first date. But can you stretch a little and be the first to be more authentic?

  Yes, it’s risky and scary. Successful dating is defined by risk. That’s why so many people avoid it.

  Dick Size

  If you read and watch social media targeted to gay men you get the sense that all we care about is big dicks and pecs. While these posts may get our attention in the digital age, and